Director of P.L.E.A.S.E.

About the role

Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything (P.L.E.A.S.E.) At Campyon, we take compliance seriously. That's why we're looking for a Director of P.L.E.A.S.E. to oversee our most critical corporate function: Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything. The ideal candidate will operate with the confidence of someone who definitely knows what's going on, while maintaining an appropriate level of mystery regarding what they actually do. Day-to-day responsibilities Provide Legal Exculpation. Sign Everything. Attend important meetings and nod thoughtfully. Wear suits often enough that people assume you're in charge. Reply to questions with, "I'll take it under advisement." Maintain plausible deniability at all times.

Requirements

Exceptional handwriting for signing things. Ability to accept challenges. Ability to keep a straight face when asked, "So... what exactly do you do here?" Comfortable working in a fast-paced, highly litigious environment. Previous experience in mysterious corporate roles is a plus. Suit ownership preferred. Nice to have: An appreciation for expensive scotch. LEGEN... wait for it ...DARY storytelling abilities. The confidence to say, "Trust me, I have a plan."